Bug - Your post meant a lot. You are right. I do deserve so much more than my H has offered me the past few years. I need the reminder that my H is not the only person deciding if he wants to be M. I have to really evaluate whether I want my H in my life in a role other than co-parent. I know that I have control over my future. If I decide that I want 4 kids, I can make that happen with or without H or another guy for the matter. Heck, there are celebrity moms out there that had babies on their own without a guy in their life. Not saying that I would do it, but the option is out there. While I can't force H to remain married to me, I can control the remainder of my life. I just have to make sure that I am not letting fear dictate my decisions.
My niece, who's about your age, is a single mother by choice. She has a great professional career with a Fortune 100 company and as with all things in her life she had a plan. When she got to a certain age with no R in sight, she did what was right for her.
She had a son and when he was 20 months old she had twins who are now 15 months old. She loves her life and is a wonderful mother.
I went to help her for a while after the births, she has her plate more than full but she's happy and loves her 3 boys.
Life is a series of changes, we can dig our heels in and say NO, NO, NO or we can accept where we are, figure out what we need and know that while heartache does happen, so does good.
We can handle both.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
