The not snooping this has been hard, but I cheer myself on when the temptations are there, and I get through them. If I slip, I am being pretty good about catching it early on and pulling back. Hard as it is.
The second point, I here and see the point your making. It was not alright. It did feel good to have someone approach me. I have not had any sexual relationship with this woman for about 15 years. So when my W and I met and got together, I avoided any contact with the OW, because I knew. I knew the temptation would be there, and I really wanted this M to work. I still do. I think I was in a vulnerable, lonely spot that night, and just feeling bad all around. believe me, that is where the guilt came from. I looked at it after and thought, what have I done. It was a helpless, giving up moment. Giving up on any chance of saving this, and I gave in to it. I did back off, and really don't want to be that person. She is not engaged, but she is in a relationship, I know that's not that point.
I also get the "what if your W to do some snooping" point. I say this half joking that I would not mind her showing that interest. Again, point taken. I just keep walking.
Me:36 Her:35 together 11yrs M 7 1/2yrs lived together 10yrs 2dogs 2cats Mortgage on a house
bomb dropped 01/12/14 Separate bedrooms/W stays here some nights I want to stay married