You are single handedly changing the dynamic of your R with your H. And he has no idea what to do because his old tricks are no longer working. Continue to take your time responding. You are doing great. I honestly think your recent exchanges with your H is what DBing is all about. You have changed immensely. You have stopped doing the things that did not work in your M. You are going to dictate how your R goes moving forward. Be proud of yourself!
