W said its over - Said I can't change her mind

[Duds3]

She told me she was done trying in the relationship and getting nothing in return. she even told me if I moved back to Tennessee she would never talk to me again. She then told me when I got a job in TN that it was time for her to support me and be by my side like before. I moved back in June and we got married in Sept. We never had any issues until around the start of Nov. Jan. 5

why do you say "never had any issues", when ^^^this paragraph summarizes the time leading up to the marriage?

When I left TN to move to MO, I did so with her blessing. I would not have made the move without her 110% support. Our plan was for her to move there after completing her graduate degree in TN. She applied for one job in MO and did not get the position. She freaked out about not being able to move there without a job and then began telling me she was done with the relationship. her views would change almost daily between telling me to stay and then saying we would make it work. It was never a question in mind whether to move back to MO to be with her. It was only a matter of what area of work I would find.

That one paragraph contains some BIG issues...did you ever try counseling?
We have never been to counseling together. I have been twice by myself since our issues began Jan. 5. I asked her to go with me and she refused. her exact response, "You can go but I am good. I don't need any help. I know exactly what I'm supposed to do."

What are YOU DOING differently, than before?
I have started working out again and living a healthy lifestyle life I and her did before. We have NC. I have always prided myself on being the same person daily, having a consistent, PMA and always laughing. Not sure how she will see this. I was in a funk for a couple of months with her in the home and us around each other. Seems like its too little too late at this point.

Also, the grabbing her in the home so she could not leave AND THEN the bar incidents are red flags to me. You have a problem you have to work on.

And admitting it would help. Don't minimize it. It would freak me out and yes, I'd need A LOT of "space" if I had a h who literally tried to keep me in one place/boxed in.

I talked to MC about the two incidents and after some questions from her, she felt my insecurities about our R was the root of the issue. Up until this point I have always felt extremely confident in our R. That has never happened to me before. I have never done such a thing. It felt like an out of body experience. I know what I did was completely wrong, out of place and I failed my W as her protector. I am by no means running from my faults or minimizing the situation. I think to say I'm abusive is a little much IMO. I also understand my opinion doesn't really matter much at this time. My only ??? is, if she thought I was such a bad guy or abusive why did she come back after initially leaving? That is what I struggle with in those regards.

DR came in the mail Thursday and I have been reading over the last two days.

Thanks again for input.