melissa - standing up for me

[melissag]

Well, I guess the kids get a reprieve from their misery, for now.

Text from H this morning:

It's clear to me this morning that I have too much anger right now to have a good conversation with you and the kids about the divorce. Let's table this conversation until a later time and if we can't get to a point of peace, let's do it separately. This is not something to which I want to expose the kids.

Not quite sure what that means . . . as far as I can tell from our convo last night (which, from my end, was quite peaceful), he is angry that I filed and that I will not tell the kids that the decision to D was made jointly.

Of course, I am tempted to ask what he is angry about, and talk with him about it, but I know better . . . he will just push the shame and blame over to me.

mj and Mama, thanks for your posts!! I can only imagine that they want to put the blame on us because it lightens the load on them, but who knows what they are thinking?

I guess I am seeing him how he is now. I have been seeing this for a while, but resisting it. Wishing he was someone else. Hoping he would change. Trying to find ways to show that I was wrong. But he just keeps showing me, every day, who he is. I hate it, and I still hope that someday he changes, but I am closer to accepting that way he is right now, and dealing with him accordingly.

It goes back to that Maya Angelou gem:

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.