Paul, I am sorry that it has come to this. I agree that you don't need to be M to someone who has so little respect for you.
Yes, it will now be your fault in your W's eyes . . . because you filed. You can't worry about what she thinks. You know how this has all transpired, and how you have handled the situation.
I am a little worried about how involved your D16 is in all of this . . . have you given her the opportunity to speak with her own C?
Hang in there, Paul. Keep focusing on your and your kids.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14