It's a beautiful day! Sun is shining and temperature is warm. This is sooooo needed! We have, like everyone else, had such a harsh winter with little to no breaks in the cold.
Anyway, I was putting lots of pressure on myself to put in 20 hours of tech writing for this next pay period. I have to turn my hours in by Sunday night. And, I'm so fried!! It was a really busy week. I think I may shower, get dressed and go for a hike with D11 instead. I will finish the story I have and maybe it let it go with 10 hours.
I felt really depleted and lonely last night. D11 went to a friend's house and I was delighted until I got home and I was here, by myself, and just felt blah. Fat and blah. I'm really not happy with how I look. And, I know I'm at an age where it's hard to tone up.
I'm really glad I joined this dating site. It's given me insight into what things I need to work on, in order to attract the kind of man I would want. I think I may cancel after the three months and wait until everything is final. Then, I will re-join using my real name, real age, yadda, yadda...
I'd like to make some friends through this current subscription though. There are some really interesting, kind men out there.
I'm not settling for just anyone. And, what's really nice--in the span of two weeks-I don't feel even a tinge of desperation anymore! Not with Smokey, not with the Forester--Who, by the by, texted and said he would come by to work on the barn roof today.
I feel good about me as a person--not so good about how I look right now. But, I feel content with who I am.
I paid cell phone bill yesterday and, even though the balance doesn't reflect it yet, I have about $10 in the bank. I have about $500 in deposits still pending and with Smokey's deposits next week--things will be ok. But, I haven't been able to put any money on the cottage we are renting and D19 needs money and I still need to pay the bookkeeper $50 for February and bills are coming due and I need to let clients know about my break and we need some groceries and then I will have to go grocery shopping on Monday after a busy day and how much should I spend and Shid!! I'm tired.
Oh, and bookkeeper is really eager to get started making a printout of what Smokey contributed in visitation time and financial contributions for the past year. AND, the taxes are done with the exception of a few things and I need to finish it this weekend so I can mail the whole bunch to Smokey.
I definitely need some time outside in the fresh air. That's the plan. I will worry about everything else after I clear my head. Yikes.
Oh, and I need to get buff and get my breasts lifted and maybe some botox and start kayaking or something because all the really good-looking nice guys seems really active and I need to compete with these perky, skinny biatches.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
