I love her... but she doesn't - Desperate

[Cnfused]

I am in a similar place, my wife told me a year ago last Oct. she was not happy. A couple of months ago she asked me to move out. I told her I can't leave our son and that he will never see me walk out on our family and if she needs space then she should go. We still live in the same house but 2 months ago she started sleeping in the guest room. I believe she wants a divorce but not sure she even knows. Dealing with this for the last 16 months. I am just going to try and keep doing the right things.

Knowing what you are going thru! Get the books DB and DR read them and get to work.

Give her space. I know you want to touch her and hold her - stop. Be upbeat and let her come to you to talk. When she does stop whatever you are doing and really listen to her. Turn the TV off, put your phone away or get off the computer. Affirm whatever she says, you don't have to agree but you do need to let her know you understand.

Ask her what she needs from you - she may say "nothing". Tell her you understand and let her know if she does have any thing you can do to let you know.

Start your 180's - if you need to pick it up around the house then start. I know when I started making the bed, doing the dishes, laundry and not drinking early on when she said she was unhappy she thought I was only doing it to manipulate her to want to stay. I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do. I do want her to stay but I can't control her. I don't think she ever thought I would keep doing them for 16 months. She is still very confused - but I now know that I am the man I should have been a long time ago and she would be a fool to leave but that is her choice and one she will have to live with.

If you believe in a higher power - pray, ask for guidance, patience, wisdom, healing or whatever else you need.

If anyone disagrees with me tell me if I'm doing something wrong because I'm living it and learning as I go. No one has all the answers - be open.

You can't fix her or your relationship but you can fix you.

Best of luck. Keep up the good fight.