Just got done with a text convo with H about what he would like to say to the kids. (That we are getting D, he is not moving home, we both still love them, this wasn't their fault, etc.) He threw in a number of barbs about me filing, about how betrayed and bitter he is, that I filed just to piss him off, that he will never understand me, that I don't step up and talk to him, how I don't answer his questions so he HAS TO assume things about me, and so on.
I managed to avoid getting drawn into an argument, mainly by ignoring his swipes at me and sticking to the topic at hand. Then he scolded me for not taking responsibility for anything about this process - i.e, my contributions to the demise of our M. My jaw was on the floor. Is he serious? I couldn't stop myself from answering. I said, "I don’t even know what to say to that. I listened to every last thing you told me, owned up to it, apologized for it, and changed it. I don’t know how you can say I haven't taken responsibility for it."
Go ahead, 2x4 me if you will. I wouldn't take it back if I could. I am sooooo tired of being vilified by him. I just had to speak up.
He gave me some sob story about how he shouldn't have to take responsibility for everything but (since he is such a saint), he has no intention of badmouthing me to the kids, so fine, he will wear it.
(As an aside, I have no intention of telling the kids that getting D was H's decision either, I only refuse to lie and tell them I have any part in it, because that is just false.)
You'll never guess what he said next.
But between the two of us, this was never what I wanted.
I'm going to search my cupboards for some hard alcohol now.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
