She left - My Story, First Post

[gogofo]

Now it is time for the second hurdle of the month. The 25th is the W's birthday and I feel a little conflicted about what to do or not to do. Five weeks ago when she was upset she said she did not want to do valentine's day or her birthday. I respected her decision about valentine's day, with the help of the forum, and did not do anything for her.

Now two weeks later it is her birthday and I have some of the same feelings, but not as strong. I go back and forth between respecting her by not doing anything and wanting to give her a simple birthday card.

I understand that if the card was all lovey it would be a turn off, but on the other had I feel if I do nothing it may hurt our situation. I am going to make a card with our kids for her, but just don't know about what I should do.

To test the water for her birthday I sent a text to her yesterday hoping she enjoys her trip out of town. No response from her, but I am not surprised. Communication still has not improved, but not much time has passed by and the text did not really warrant a response.

I will see her on Sunday to exchange the kids again, on our original schedule we had a family dinner planned but I highly doubt that is going to happen.

Maybe the card from the kids will suffice as being from me also, even though I will not sign it.

The birthday will be tough for me and I assume for her as they were always an excuse to get both families together and have a large dinner that her and I would cook. I doubt she will do it this year as she is out of town the next two weekends.

Sometimes I think too much.

The good part is that right now I feel better about the situation than I did around valentine's day. I have been pinpointing problems with myself and working on them, not beating my self up as bad as I was before, and even loving myself and looking back on the marriage I can see things that I would want her to change also, not just me doing all the changes.