Thing I've learned. Now what?

[LFC1170]

ntincu, Man I could've wrote the same post word for word and I totally empathize with you. EVERYTHING is almost the same! From her troubled past and self-esteem problems, right down to the texting and obsession with the computer. In my wife's case it's FB. She didn't drop the BD till after I bought her a $700 laptop to FB almost every minute I was home. That damn DEVIL computer!

ALL of our problems is resulting from a lack of communication skills. Read "Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus" to get a handle on communicating lovingly in a relationship. It made me realize all the things my wife was trying to say all these years and I didn't understand because my wife was indirect as well.
Basically, it says that men hear things literally while women speak poetically. This was one of my main complaints through the years. I never realized how destructive it was to my bond with her and how it contributed to a 11yr sexless m. Isn't it funny the only time our women speak in literal terms is when they ask for a D?

I'm sorry to hear your m is done. I really am. Divorce [censored]!!!
Learn these communication skills to better arm yourself for your next relationship so you won't be surprised again. This also should help towards your personal growth.

Mr.Bond. I know you go on saying that our D have nothing to with deteriorating self-esteem. To that I say this, I don't know how you choose to enter a long-term relationship without having emotional co-dependency on some level. Our D are a direct result of rejecting our w in some way. This leads to them rejecting us. Then the D proclamation comes and that basically says we failed as husbands. This has got to be a blow to our self-esteems.

But you would probably say that co-dependency in m are unhealthy anyway. Why not? They say that about unconditional love don't they?