WAW Said She's Done-pt.4- What Happened?

[OneDay]

Believe it or not, I woke up the other morning with a different mindset. A better mood than normal. I dont know where it came from, but I didnt care what type of mood WAW was in. This is has been a few days now, and Im still feeling good. Not great, but good.

Also, I'm starting to look at WAW differently. (and not in a good way) I'm noticing she builds up her own frustrations/issues then takes them out on me and the kids. I just now realized she has always done that. If she were to say that she wants to R, I would be VERY hesitant. It would be A LOT of work on both parts,

Now you feel that you just have to confront her. What do expect will be her reaction? Tears? An apology? Repentance? Promises? Even in the couple of stories where I've read of this happening.......the WAW never stuck to whatever she said when confronted. The more common response from the WAW is telling her H what he doesn't want to hear.

Do you have a plan that goes beyond confrontation?

I am not saying you should or shouldn't approach her, but it takes much, much more than just confronting her. You better have a well thought out plan. And don't give her ultimatums. That will almost guarantee you a bad outcome.

If she were to agree to end the A, have you read about how it should end? If she says she doesn't want to end the M, do you know what you to require from her .....and what both of you need to do to get through them next rough weeks/months as she grieves over the A? There needs to be certain conditions a WAS agrees to, if a reconciliation is successful. Some men just want to hear she'll end the A, and he thinks everything will be okay. It won't. The hard stuff comes after she agrees to never contact OM again.

As one example, if she agrees to end the A but tells you she has not interest in putting effort into working on the MR. What would the next step be? B/c piecing comes after both are ready to roll up their sleeves and get to work.

After thinking for awhile, I dont know what to expect her reaction to be. I dont have an exception one way or another.

A PLAN? What does that PLAN look like in this situation?
I feel no matter the outcome I need to say something. I would try to speak softly, from the heart and Loving tell her, that I know what she is doing. To let her know I dont agree with what she is doing and wish she would stop, but I know its her choice and Im not going to stand in your way. (Is this a dead end conversation or what?)

Thats as far as my plan goes.^^^^ What more is there to say. What would a plan even look like.

Sandi, I dont know if she would agree to anything right now. We barley even talk. I try to maintain a PMA, say hello, how was your day? Are you feeling Ok etc. She is very negative and turns most things I say into a Negative. We have short talk, more about the kids or dogs than anything. But no real conversion. I listen to her when she venting and I validate. Neither one of use bring up the D or R.

And no I dont know what the next steps would be if she agreed to end the A.(which only started a few weeks ago) And No, I dont know how we would begin to start piecing. Trust would be a major concern for me. I know it would be a ton of work on both parts. We would need some serious counseling.