Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

AS,

Yes I know legally everything is still joint. Debts and assets included.

She knows that the money that is in that account was from me putting it away for us.

I know if she wanted to she has every right to clean out those accounts and take me for everything.

This is the first time a financial discussion taken place since last Summer.

I may be a fool but I don't get the feeling she will take the money and run away.

Mostly, I guess I want her to see that even though we are S and she thinks I have all money I am not going out and spending this extra money foolishly.

If we were still together, this extra money would be going to pay down debts even further.

She is dictating how we are paying the bills and doing a great job at it. Because of her employment sitch, we(she) are/is not able to continue to pay down debt at the rate we were before the S.

This extra she sees in the account is for home repairs and emergencies, I just want to make sure without throwing it in her face that she realizes it shouldn't be used completely just for her because she has no job.

She says she is looking and has had interviews(info that was conveyed to me suggests otherwise).

The crappy thing is if we were still together all of this would not even be an issue. We would be working through it together. Granted, we may have had a lot more conflicts and arguments if things remained as they were in our former M.

Now that I have been going to IMC and reading great books and I am doing DB coaching. I feel I am better prepared to deal with crisis like these when they come up but none of that matters if my W still continues to want out.

I cant lie, It is somewhat bothersome that because of her status as a WAW she will allow her stubbornness to over ride her sense of safety and security as it pertains to a new improved loving M.

She has commented on the changes that she has seen and it seems to tick her off. I understand why it would after 15 years of more of the same but in the same right I would think(maybe wish) a couple baby steps should have been made by now. This week has been a bit better interaction wise so maybe this is the baby steps I am looking for and just don't consider it as such.

Sorry for the "woe is me" feeling of this post but It is better on here than it is to my W.