Blues - I felt a lot better once we had a set schedule. Our schedule does change a lot due to conflicts, but there is no more dropping by at the last minute. It was better for everyone involved. Before, I left like a doormat. My H was totally cake eating and would not tell me his schedule. He would call at the last minute. Each time the kids asked when they would see daddy I would have to say I don't know.
Each weekend we discuss the upcoming week in advance. I can tell the kids exactly when they will see H. H stopped treating the house like his house. It helped me to detach. We still have family time once a week. I am currently ok with it for right now and I can see that the kids love it. H has the two nights a week and I use that time to run errands, go to IC, exercise or meet up with friends. Having the set nights have helped me to be able to live my life.
I think that it will help your H see what S and D looks like in reality. He probably wont get it completely (my H is still living in fantasy land) but it should help a bit. Your H has it too easy right now. He can decide when he wants to have responsibilities or not.
