The problem here is that I feel she is starting to resent the fact that I now have more time with the kids than she does. About a month ago she had mentioned I am trying to be super dad and that the kids are ignoring her more now.
Welcome to WAS-think. Either you don't spend enough time with the kids, or you spend too much, or you're too middle-of-the-road. No matter what you do she will paint it in a bad light. Do it for YOU and the KIDS, not her.
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As the matter of fact, since she said that, I am trying to make sure the kids aren't ignoring her and interacting with her.
Do not intervene. Her relationship with the kids is HER responsibility. When you try to intervene even for the right reasons, it'll just make her resent your efforts.
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My dream would be: she gets a part time job at our local church or other non demanding job. I help to adjust finances, get rid of my car to cut down costs, as well as take on more responsibility at work to increase my pay. All this I can do. I can even start doing now, but I know she will never say: "Oh yes, that is a great idea, let me change jobs and rely on you." She will never say this as she had said before she is looking to "not rely on anyone."
You're right, what she wants is independence, and what you describe above is the opposite. She will loathe the idea.
