Thanks so much for taking over the reins here. I so approve! You think D is messy? I can tell you that a well off gay man's will and trust where he left nothing to his family has created much more of a mess than my D ever was! I'm trying to continually balance myself so that the next surprise doesn't hit me like a boom and knock my ass over. It's been a tough week!
So, back to Melissa.
Quote:
I have not told them anything, since (1) my filing merely reflects the reality of the current situation, which they are already well aware of; and (2) as we have discussed previously, and is made clear in the book we both read as well as the child psychologist I have spoken with, any discussion with the children about the status of our marriage and the ensuing changes in their lives should be discussed between the two of us first, and then presented by us together.
I love, love, love this. It is pretty much what our child psychologist told us to do when letting the girls know. I think it's comical (and I do mean that word) that he is laying the blame for the legal filing of your status after he moved out. If I called someone a dickwad here, I probably did, and your H IS a dickwad. Did he think the "Dad Pad" was a secret tree house out in your backyard that only those invited can enter? WTF? I mean really! WTF? Your H has some balls, Melissa.
That being said, I think I'd expect that there is a good chance he's going to override your request and do what he wants. I might be inclined to tell the kids when they get home, "Did anything happen this weekend that you want to talk about?" And do some backward probing so you can help them. Look Melissa, if he jumps the gun unilaterally, I would probably even tell them, "Dad moved out, and that was definitely not something I wanted. I had to make sure that things are legal and I need to protect you guys and myself. That's all that I care about right now. But no matter what, we'll get through it and I still love you."
I hate the fact that I'm actually telling you to contemplate pushing the cart along next to the horse. I hardly ever advocate that kind of action, but in your case, your H seems to be pushing your buttons in a huge way on purpose. What a dickwad!
Just remember Douchy Rich. That ought to keep you focused on what you need to do.
Hugs. And I mean a big one.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
