Ego boost leads to confidence, confidence leads to better self-esteem, self-esteem leads to the feeling you can handle anything that comes your way and be the man you were born to be, which would help you, in an ironic way, to continue the LRT. So, to me, the only way to heal yourself from the pain caused by a woman is not other activities, engulfing yourself in work, going out with the boys, those are all distractions. It is the admiration and appreciation that you can only receive from another woman that will give you the confidence and self-esteem you need as a male. Just my thinking.
We are all codependent in our M's and go through withdrawals after BD. We've lost the affirmation that our WAS used to provide. If you date too soon it takes your focus away from where it should be- YOU. You end up not fixing your problems, but just convincing yourself that since OW find you attractive, your W was the one that was wrong and you're just fine the way you are. If you pursue that path you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes in your next R. Before any of us date we must first fix our problems, become better people, and learn to be happy BY OURSELVES. When our happiness comes from within then we have solid self-esteem. When our happiness comes from others then we are weak and subject to being put on an emotional roller coaster by them. Read No More Mister Nice Guy, it's a great book for showing you how to be happy with yourself by yourself without the need for affirmation from others.
For the record, I'm not one of those people that thinks you have to wait for D before dating (although many here do feel that way). I think it's for each of us to decide when we are ready. But I think too many LBS's jump into dating too soon and for all the wrong reasons.
