As long as you are doing it for you. That is fine.
Don't do it if it only to get a reaction out of your H.
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Whatever changes you are making are to be for you. You don't do them to get a reaction out of your spouse. Many people rearrange furniture, paint and put up new drapes. Some have even gone further and sold their homes and moved into new places. The world is your oyster...make your home yours and don't worry about what he thinks.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks! All changes have been for me. Getting ready to pain the inside and list in the next couple of months. If it doesn't sell, eh....it will be fine.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Another question. H comes over in the am to take kids to school. He is not particularly in the moment (on phone, tweeting and snapchatting entire time-but I of course say nothing. Just find it odd since he is with kids an hour a day only) but has best relationship with s4.
He did not speak to me this am and I not to him. However, I was singing in the kitchen and talking to my sons. I wasn't cold, but I am deferring to the him speaking first. H made a pot of coffee. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I mean I guess it was nice but I wasn't going to make a pot this am and would have just grabbed a cup at work.
Also, I no longer text h pics or funny things kids do. I make him initiate all contact. And trust me, he doesn't want to talk. Only text. He asks me how kids are but won't call them. I just wait a while and respond that they are fine or are being very sweet.
This is what feels best for me as I am detaching and I swear I don't know this man. Periodically, he will make a comment about one of the kids and I will think "that's him." Only to have him say or do something that totally is out of (old) h character.
I think I am struggling with no seeming cold, but he knew when he left I loved him. So obviously, I just have to move on with my life. Thoughts?
Thanks everyone.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Why is he coming into your home to pick up the kids for school? Wouldn't it be best to have the kids ready and when you see him in the driveway, put their coats on and walk them out to the car? By him coming inside, he's still invading your space and making himself right at home making coffee. Would you go to his place and do the same?
BTW, I don't think you are cold at all, but going on about your business.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Job. I have to leave for work very early (6:15 am). My two older kids can't be at school until 8 and it is right next to where h works. I hear what you are saying and I doubt this will last, but this was h's proposal for spending time with kids. This and a Wednesday night for 2 and 1/2 hours. This works out to about 12 hours a week.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I have another question that I wonder if anyone has any insight regarding. As I've stated, my h suffers from anxiety and clinical depression and has been on medication for over 6 years. (Different meds). He is now on a new med, but I wonder if anyone knows the answer to this. My understanding is that the meds help them function, but they are still in a fog. I know MLC is referred to as the grandaddy of all depressions.
Just curious as to whether anyone has any thoughts.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
From what I've read and observed, the meds take the "edge" off, but they don't lift the entire fog for the MLCer. They feel better and some of them can then sleep better and yes, they can function better....but mlcers are great w/compartmentalizing things, i.e., they can function in different areas w/o exhibiting a lot of depression symptoms. It's when they are alone or sometimes around us that they will drop their masks and show signs of depression, dead eyes, pale, sickly looking, sad, no spirit, etc.
They not only need meds, but professional assistance as well in order to navigate what they are going through. Some will eventually go see a therapist and others will continue to suffer all on their own.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
