melissa - standing up for me

[melissag]

I have spoken with a PsyD who specializes in kid issues specifically with D, and I have shared his thoughts with my H. This was back in October. My children have not seen anyone yet, though I have a few names of people they can see when the time comes, which I imagine will be whenever they learn that Dad actually isn't coming home in May after all. I have offered it to them a few times and they don't seem too interested at the moment, I imagine because they think this will all be resolved in a few months.

My H is not dumb or clueless about this stuff - he knows damn well how important it is to discuss first and speak with the children together. When he wanted to move out, and it was necessary to talk with the kids, he was all about "putting the children first" and we spent some time planning the what, when and where of that conversation. I wonder if that convo went so well in his eyes (both kids immediately turned into Daddy worshippers) that he thinks this one will go just as well.

It's not just the fact that he would have this conversation without me that makes me think he is being a jerk on purpose - it's the suggestion that he plans to discuss "my filing" with them. It sure seems like he is trying to instigate something.

Dickwad is a pretty good description. I might add some more adjectives in front of it, though.

This convo is over text, and I feel like I should keep the initial reaction as short, simple and non-combative as possible (even though I can think of many choice words for him right now) . . . .

What about,

I have not told them anything, since (1) my filing merely reflects the reality of the current situation, which they are already well aware of; and (2) as we have discussed previously, and is made clear in the book we both read as well as the child psychologist I have spoken with, any discussion with the children about the status of our marriage and the ensuing changes in their lives should be discussed between the two of us first, and then presented by us together.

I REALLY want to say "I hope you won't let your childish, asinine desire to piss me off hurt your children," but I won't.