blues. I too have not set bounderies and allow h to come by at his convenience. we have no formal visitation schedule and I have been at this almost 2 years. H still pays all the bills.
he doesn't eat dinner here or hang out. his coming by is brief. I am always pleasant.

he communicates by text/calls almost daily with d. I am not going to say don't do that but feel like he gets he needs of being a dad met.
my boys are different, they communicate little with him.
my oldest son had a reaction very much like your d...pretending happy family. he is most bothered by situation. when h moved back home last summer(temporarily) s20 left to go stay with a friend. said it felt too weird.

s20 sees a therapist on his own(at college). I think it has helped him. he also has seen a therapist in our home town too. I have seen her as well. I like her a lot and think she has been a good anchor for him.

hope it is a good day

M48 H50
M21 T26
S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old
PA confirmed 7/2012
H separates 9/2012
H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY
OW still in picture. h filed 10/13