Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

New development,

W finally brought up the fact that her unemployment has stopped. Somehow the way she pays the bills she paid a double payment on one of the credit cards. I think she meant to pay another bill and hit the wrong button IMHO but I didn't say that.

She started saying that she would transfer money over from our savings to cover the bill if she couldn't get it reversed.

We went on discuss other bills and she said how much one was and that she didn't have the money to cover it so she would again have to transfer some money from our savings to pay her share.

My question is do I transfer my portion of the bills to her account or back into our savings either way I am still paying my share of the bills.

I told her that I would be willing to pay extra and then if her benefits pick back up she can pay me back if she likes.

She said she would just use the money from the savings to pay it after all its both our money.

I agreed with her.

I didn't know to say it say I just kept quiet and now I am looking for some help.

The savings technically is both our money but only to a point IMHO.

Since S I have continued to put money in that account from every pay just like I have been doing for the last 4 yrs.

Any money there before S is definitely joint although it was only me contributing to that account.

That money has always been earmarked for home repair and vacations or other emergency needs.

How do I tell the W without a confrontation that I feel that the money I put in since the S I feel is really all mine.

I feel like if she has to transfer money to cover bills or buy groceries then that is fine but if she plans on using that money for lets say renew a gym membership that is up then that would be pretty wrong of her.

I want that money to go towards home repairs. I think she will balk at that because "we" need it to pay bills.

I don't believe this is true but I get the feeling in way does she wants me covering all bills with my paycheck. I feel it is that whole "now I am indebted to him and he will want me to R" attitude.

No expectations of that really, I just want to keep that savings for badly needed home repairs/upgrades.

I know that I should be asking a L these questions but I already had my consultation 5 months ago and don't want to go that route right now.

Just looking for anybody, that may have or is in this position, for some guidance.

Thanks in advance.