Not sure how long my posts will be held up, the first two showed up fairly quickly now it seems to take longer. Hopefully I can get off moderation soon.
Spent some time away from home this afternoon after work with a pastor/friend that I have been talking to. He seem to give good insight and spoke with him about this forum. While having coffee with him my wife called to see when I was coming home so she could go visit a friend in the hospital. I think she was surprised I didn't come straight home after work today. The only reason she called was for me to come home and watch or son so she could leave. Hopefully I can continue this journey, even if she doesn't seem to want too. If she wants to give up that needs to be her doing, not mine. Not really sure what stage of DB I should be in right now.
But today is one of those days I just feel like throwing in the towel and telling W if she wants to separate then she should go because I can't walk out on her or our son. Should I just keep my mouth shut? Not talking about our relationship and just talking about her day. I know she doesn't want to hurt our son but doesn't put any effort into marriage. We send our son to a private christian school and she works there too. I'm sure that's all playing in her head and to what the people there will think if or when this all plays out. I think that's why she keeps trying to push my buttons so she can say I'm the one who left.
At what point do you push the decision - I don't think there is a PA but 99% sure there is an EA. Our phone bill showed a number of calls to and out of state "friend". Do I just keep my mouth shut? Do I let her know that this is unacceptable? Do I need to be 100% sure? Just let it go? Should I call the guy and ask what's going on?
I get so confused about what to do. I know she is so confused too & bitter. Doesn't matter what I do or don't do with/for her she gets upset. But when I do nothing for her I don't feel i'm being supportive and showing her the changes in me.
I keep trying to give her space w/i our home not sure if this is he best plan or if a separation would be the better option, in that she could see what life will really be like without me. Any thoughts?
She is definitely eating cake and has been for the last couple of months.
Being patient - reading & praying for strength and wisdom
Me: 55, W: 46 T: 17 M: 15 S: 10 3 S prev M 25 23 21 Unhappy 10/12 Asked to move out 1/14 NILWY 2/14 Sep rooms: 1/14 BD 3/14 W filed 5/14 Trial 12/14
