Discussing what? You two already had the separation talk with the kids, and that hasn't changed.
Furthermore, anything that your 9 and 7 year old "needs" to hear needs to be discussed beforehand between you and H, then presented together to the kids.
I am sorry he is resorting to using the children in order to try and get control back. You can't control him, but you can certainly tell him what is and isn't reasonable and acceptable.
He is obviously trying to find what buttons to push to get a reaction out of you, so my inclination is to not engage him at all. After all, that type of behavior shouldn't be rewarded with attention. However, this isn't theoretical-land and there are potentially serious consequences for the kids...maybe, as he could be bluffing, but I understand not trusting him enough to take that risk.
I can't think of a response that doesn't evoke an argument, which is what he wants. Even something as simple as "what do you think needs to be discussed?" could be responded with, "that's between me and my kids" just to get under your skin.
I'm sorry I can't help more. I just don't know what the perfect response is to an unstable person so absorbed with himself that he is willing to potentially hurt his own children to try and gain back some semblance of control. That's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
