As you've already stated, they kids know you two are separated and clearly dad has his own place. There is no need to sit them down again to let them know that papers were filed.
Will he then have another talk when HE files for divorce? I'd bet that he won't.
Telling them about the filing for separation is a mind game to manipulate/control your, but also the minds he's playing with the most are his children's. To try to plant a seed in their mind that this was their mothers doing? Disgusting.
I'm sure you'll get much better advice that this, but I think you should continue to not respond. If he wants to tell them, let him....but I would hope that your lack of response (or a short response such as "I don't see the purpose in that, but do what you will...") would cause him to change his mind in doing so.
Continue to show him he has no power over your behavior, stay calm in whatever you choose to say or do. And do not be like him and try to control in return. He sees that you're level headed and thinking smartly he wants to throw you off and get you thinking from a place of emotion to do what he wants....do not give him the satisfaction.
If he talks to them about it w/ them, don't worry, as time goes on the kids will know the truth by what they see. And what they will see is their awesome mom who was there for them 100%.
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
