I may have done too much

[D2ndday]

Also if this OM knows your wife is married and STILL engaging in sexual relations with her, this makes him a willing accomplice in Home Wrecking and I have no respect for people like that.

I agree. With the OW, I felt like that is who I was, and I have stopped it. SO, the idea that this guy is continuing, makes him a**, sorry but he is. I mean I did that one thing. I got it, and have backed off. I mean the OW is not married but she is in a relationship. Even so, I felt bad about myself. My point is that this guy has continued and taken it to another level. I don't see how you can look in the mirror doing that to someone. Even if you don't know them. What kind of foundation is that for a relationship. BUT, I have to stop think about it. It just pisses me off, and really does nothing positive for me.

Blinded, I did not get it at the time, how hard the miscarriage was for her. I think as a guy, I just did not get it. Was it sad, yes, very. Was it going to take some time, sure. Did I know she was sad, yes. But I think I measured it by my own sadness. So when I was ready to try again, I expected her to be too. Instead she started getting more tattoos. "Once I finish this tattoo we will try again" she would say. These were elaborate pieces that were broken up into sessions that spread over a few months. I started becoming worried, but by then, I think it was getting late and I did not take the right actions. I should have done more then, and now, we are where we are. I still don't think I fully grasp how much of an effect it had on her. I mean I get that it was her body, but more than that I think there was a whole other emotional piece that I never had seen or experienced. She is also anti therapy, so I think even if I had suggested counseling back then, it would not have helped.

I share your pain, and like LFC said, I think we all are felling this way. We don't want anyone but our wives. We still love them and are committed to them. I know for me, I had no idea I would hurt this way for any woman. I knew I loved her, but this is more. I mean I have dated other woman, but no break up measures to this.

Just this moment, I just finished eating dinner alone. W is away for the night. I felt this wave of sadness come over me. I am alone. Then I cam here, and read your posts, and typing this now, had distracted me. I don't know if I am less sad, but I am not sitting there thinking about it. I feel little more motivated to look at what I want to do next tonight.