own buz 22:mediation to reconcilliation, hopefully

[makingmagic]

Bond... you are the "hardest" on me... I would really like to listen to what you have to say now. I am open to others to chime in as well.

more... we had agreed that we would talk further today, but to respect his agenda, I kept it short & he said we would talk later, as work was hanging over him. I reitereated that I am not forcing these talks, that if he wants to talk, then I will listen, but that he said some stuff yesterday that has made me "think".

I stated that I fully understand his confusion/pain. I pointed out that it seems that he is content in his confusion, as he doesn't seem to prioritize himself to figure things out. He said he is overwhelmed with work, house responsibilities, etc. that prevent him from focusing. but that he has reached out to his friend who has been spending his time focused on his issues (h is envious of the "time" his buddy has on his hands). I mentioned that even the mediator mentioned that he doesn't know how to relax. He cannot sit still for more than 20 mins. and that he avoids and buries himself into work. I was compassionate when I said this.

I got off the phone & texted back: "for the record, you are not alone. I too am working. Not just all caught up in my thoughts" He immediately texted back "ok :)"

It does sound like he wants to talk/listen/communicate and figure stuff out...it does! BUT... his time schedule does not permit it and he is too exhausted at the end of the day to revisit it... he just wants to ignore, drink his beer, go to bed. At this rate... we will be NO further ahead than we are now if we go at this pace.

I think I will also send this text as a thought (dont want to "say" it, but feeling a "text" would be somehting he could re-read: (read somewhere, altered to suit)

"my dilemma: I want this pain that I/we are feeling to have redemptive purpose in my/our life. I want it to really mean something. Pain not transformed is transferred. It would surely lay seed to resentment (if we did not do our very best here)"