Highly Experience Mother of two daughters here (19 and 11):
Love this! Ask Toria which friends stick by her through thick and thin--remind her that these are the "real" friends to keep. Then, ask about going to a movie or having one over.
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maybe take some of her close girlfriends who aren't involved in the craziness to the movies or something, just to remind her she's got good friends and these are the ones she wants in her life.
I would gently ask Toria about what was said. Tell her, no matter how embarrassing, it's important you know the whole truth. It's probably pretty harsh if she came down crying.
Usually, I use the staying home from school as leverage. "I can't allow you to miss school unless I know exactly what happened." Remember this for next time...But, say something like, "I allowed you to stay home. I could see you were really upset. I'm so proud of you for coming to me, but I need some details. I'm worried about you."
Push, prod, use leverage, buy her a new outfit, take away the phone until she reveals. You need to know because, sadly, in today's world, the information could be about all kinds of sicko stuff--think graphic and really hurtful. If this P is bullying your daughter, the school needs to know and they need details to make things right.
Next, I ALWAYS ask who do you sit with at lunch. When do you run into P? And, this is when you lay down the law. No P while Toria is with you. She is now off limits. P has crossed some boundary and you need to focus on other friends. Make a plan.
What will you do tomorrow at school in whatever class you have together? Who is in that class that you feel safe around? Sit by that person. Assigned seats? How can you handle yourself? Make a plan.
Lunch, can you sit with other kids?
And, finally, I'd call the school and tell the guidance counselor. Yes, it could make things worse for Toria in the short term. But, most schools have zero tolerance and she needs to see that you won't tolerate someone crossing her boundaries and abusing her. This is abuse and needs to be treated as such.
Obviously, if this is a simple pre-teen friend tiff, then, she needs to handle it. But, for a kid to want to stay home and break down in tears, I say get the whole story. Someway, somehow.
Ahhh, parenting teens, let the fun begin!!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
