So you're dating......good for you!

[LoisB]

CC,

She is just a bandaid. You said it and it's true. He is broken and thinks he needs someone else broken.

I'm sorry that happened. I know how much it hurts. You will ok though, regardless.

Much love,

Heather

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks Heather.

Thankfully I know this girl and know how damaged she is. But that adds a layer of concern for me. I know how much she wants kids...... She's not having mine and if he gets her pregnant....well I think we may have a deal breaker.

Mind reading.....I'll just leave them to it.

[job]

CC,
I'm sorry you found the ow's house keys in your h's car. I'm sure you were very hurt for a while, but you realized later that he's still out there doing his thing and seeking the comfort of another individual who is just as broken as he is. She's really nothing more than a crutch or as we say here a Band-Aid.

Continue to work on you, do things for yourself when he's w/the kids. Nothing says you have to be around all of the time when he has the kids. Pamper yourself as much as you can and let your kids know that you are there for them when their father isn't around.

Continue as you have been. You've been doing well and know how to handle your situation. Keep up the good work!

[willbwell]

what job said, hang in there. I am trying to do the same. You are not alone.

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks everyone. I've spent most of the day with them all and my kids don't want to be left with him.....he's tired and grumpy and acting all depressed again. But I need to get away from him. Might have to pop to the gym, some exercise will help keep my head clear. I've got Al anon tonight too.

It's horrible what he's doing but it's my choice if I let it effect me.......I choose happiness, so there!!!!

[bustingout]

Hi CC I'm sorry to hear about the keys. I know how it feels - it happened to me too last year. After the initial pain I kind of felt sorry for h that he really had no home anymore, none that were 'his'.

It's a band aid. Hang in there. You are loved and you are fabulous.

[CallaghanClown]

Thanks busting. I am loved. I am fabulous. I am grateful for everything I have. I feel very very sorry for him. But not enough to jump on his roller coaster.

I'm glad she's making him happy at the minute, maybe he won't be as crazy for a while......

[BrightFuture]

Thant’s the spirit! Keep it up!

[CallaghanClown]

He topped the week off well by packing the rest of his clothes in front of the kids and leaving them devastated. I was so shocked. It was complete attention seeking and unnecessary. Had he have done it when the kids weren't there I would have helped him load his car.....stupid boy.

He them kept snapping at me and was very very anxious.

I really thought he was getting well.....bloody expectation. I know not to have any....I hadn't realised I had expectation. He started talking about steeling again.....in front of the kids....I nipped it in the bud. He's secretly eating again..... I just despair. I need to detach further. His recovery has nothing to do with me. I wonder if he's felt pursued by me......it certainly wasn't my intention.

He's here tomorrow to have the kids. I know I need to set some boundaries about the way he speaks in front of them and that he's not to come into my house and upset our kids.....but I feel like it always back fires.

I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone with the kids but I feel like he wants me to be with him and the kids all the time......aaaaaahhhhhh. I have nobody else to supervise his visits and don't want to punish the kids by not letting him come. Can't think of the answer to this dilemma yet.....I'll sleep on it.

[LoisB]

I understand they are "not right in the head." I do. In fact, I was just reading about testosterone and how it can alter your personality and so forth. AND, since I have struggled since my teens with severe PMS, I can completely get how a person's hormones could make them crazy.

What I can't, however, understand, is how someone could treat innocent children with such insensitivity and thoughtlessness. I see it as cruel.

My H texting my D11 last weekend to ASK if she wanted him to visit and when she expressed anger after not hearing from her dad for a month, his response, "Ok, bye."

Who does this sort of thing? It's sick and mean.

Makes me so angry and frustrated.