Question is, on the cover of DB, it states "Can be used alone or with your spouse". Is this true, and if so, at what point would an LBS "share" this book with the WAS? Has anyone ever done this before?
A lot of people that read DB/ DR don't have a full-blown WAS on their hands, they're just in marriages that need a little help. That's when it's useful for both parties to read the book. Few of those people make it to the forums though because they don't need THAT much help. Those who find their way here typically are dealing with a WAS and should not share the book with them.
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Reason I ask is, my WAS knows I have been reading several books on R & M. She has asked before what I am reading and is it any good / am I getting useful information out of them. I haven't actually shared the actual books / titles yet; I have shared some information I have learned from the books and internet. I generally don't reveal the sources (especially sites like this one). I only offer information when she asks; don't want to pressure her into anything.
Sounds like you're doing good there.
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Here is our current status:
OK, well it sounds like what you're doing is working fine, so stick with it!
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Unless there is something "under the hood" I am not seeing, the only thing that seems to be missing from our early marriage is "her in-love feelings" (I hate that term by the way).
Don't we all. ILYBINILWY is simply ridiculous, but we all hear it. WAS's confuse "puppy love" for "being in love", but puppy love is temporary limerence. WAS's will abandon everything they used to hold dear just to pursue an idea of love (permanent limerence) that doesn't even really exist. So they hook up with an OP (or dream of it) and they feel that puppy love and it convinces them that they were RIGHT, there really is true love! But it doesn't last, and usually by the time they figure that out they've left a trail of wreckage in their wake. That's why we work on us, because we can't fix them. They have to make that journey alone.
