I don't know if it was self-delusion, but you are right, we do get used to a very high level of care. That what makes this situation so cruel. Bang - I am no longer loved as I thought!
Of course we find out the truth, sort of. Then my SO could not get away from me fast enough. And if I was in trouble now, I doubt he'd show up. (Then why can't I let go!!??)
All I can say is that I will be glad to be done. To one day take that breath and know that I am done.
You won't be in limbo forever, either. We both have lots of living to do.
