Newbie needs help:husband left Saturday

[dxw689]

Just posting some painful thoughts, trying to sift through them and get over it. I took the day off yesterday - and then, long story, but ice fell off my roof onto the driveway and I could not get my car out to get to work this morning. Even had a neighbor call someone with a township plow to help me out - they came by and helped most of the way: I still have some to do, but came in to call out sick of work and also take a break before doing the last bit myself. It is all ice. This is something that my husband used to do and I tried calling him like crazy for help this morning and he would not answer. He called back and left a message with the kids saying hi before school like it was a social call, but never called me back or came over to help. When he first left, he said he would be around to help and on the first one or two snows, he came over to help, but that has already stopped - it has been an unusually snowy and icy winter.

I am not as anxiety-ridden all the time, and mentally I am understanding the detachment, but I also still feel somewhat stuck. At the beginning of trying to get out this morning, I felt like I just could not do it and was calling and calling H in desperation. Then I kept plugging away at the ice a little at a time. A neighbor saw me and came over and we talked both about the ice and my H situation. We had a nice talk and she helped me find a heavy-duty pointy shovel to chisel at the ice with and called her boyfriend who works for the township with the plow. But one of the things she said really helped as much as the plowing instruments: She noticed that Husband is doing less and less of the helping here at my house and said yes, both her boyfriend and an in-law have had same situation: the WAS will do less and less to help, often specifically because the OW is telling them not to, that they should not be helping the ex (me). I feel like my H is closing off to me - he was so cold to me last night when picking up the kids. I feel so bizarre: I am here trying to do DBing, husband is showing zero interest in me and already shacked up with other woman, but is making no moves toward divorce. Last Sunday, we attended church to watch my daughter sing in the choir and H accompanied us all downstairs for after-church social hour (snacks) just as if we were still a family. But his interaction with me is getting colder. I have been doing mounds and mounds of reading, trying to detach, doing 180s as best I can - and sometimes I make some progress - doing exercises in Getting Past your Breakup, doing exercises in Byron Katie's the Work, doing divorce busting, getting a life, getting positive mental attitude. I signed up for a "Painting from your Soul" workshop to be held on Sunday - this is really out-of-the-box for me, since I am more of an athletic-minded person. But oh, this is all so hard and nothing seems to be working. The kids are my biggest joy. I am really there for them and they are really there for me. But I worry that other things are sliding - work in particular. I have always been very invested in my career, but this is really hurting my productivity at work. I am telling myself that I am in crisis and frankly, I can only do what I can manage right now. But frankly, there are people depending on me at work that I feel I am letting down and it's not helping my career security any. And this is a bad time for that. Just journaling to try to get through. I feel like I am leaning on so many people right now - and I don't see the end of the tunnel at all.