Four weeks in, hopeful but just starting!

[KGirl]

Getting things together. Have an appointment w/ an L tomorrow morning to try and ease my concerns about the consequences of moving out and how I could protect my equity in the home/the fact that my name is still on the mortgage w/out actual D or S paperwork. I don't think I'm ready to do it yet, but want to be prepared just in case. Moving out w/out actually filing for D or S could be the kick in the pants H needs to see what it's like when I'm not around.

H is staying home today sick. I can count on less than one hand the # of times this has happened. I just want to cuddle him and comfort him and wait on him like I'd use to do (which he probably found smothering) but limited myself to "Hope you have a restful day. Let me know if I can help at all" and walking out the door. Pre-BD we'd talk a lot in the bathroom while getting ready in the morning, post-BD we are in separate bathrooms so no talking. H came out of the bedroom despite being sick to chit chat with me in the kitchen this morning about having the flu, maybe taking off work tomorrow, asking if I got a flu shot, etc. Ugh. I actually feel the opposite of a lot of people on here - rather than be stressed about going home, I look forward to coming home and being near my H. Probably helps that he's nice and doesn't spew awful things at me. I'm not sure if this is a comfort thing (like enjoying his presence even if we're not talking) or if it's a control thing (like feeling secure that I know exactly what he's doing when we're both home and isn't off with someone or plotting against me) : /