my wife left, but still lives with me #2/continued

[Azagtoth]

I am at work and am in a pretty good mood. The closer it gets to quitting time and I have to go home I become more depressed! How backwards is that from what it should be It is like the situation [censored] the life energy from me.

Does anyone have any tricks to try to keep a PMA around one's WAS?

Tough,

I get you on this one, as I am sure many do. To be honest, you literally just have to act "as if" and get yourself to this mental state.

I felt the exact same way you do as far as coming home; the dread and wondering what kind of mood she was in. As said previously; the best thing you can do is detach. Don't let her mood dictate yours. It's hard at first, but once you get into a routine, it gets easier. You GAL plays a big part in this; at least it do for me. Some suggestions that worked for me:

- If you dread coming home right away; then don't! Do something after work that relaxes you or lets the stress off. I am a member of our local VFW so I stop in occasionally, have a beer, BS with the other vets, shoot some pool, whatever, then go home. Hit the gym after work and hit it hard; exercise is a great stress relief and healthy for you! Plus, you get the benefit of getting in good shape!

- When you do get home; don't worry about where she is. Do your own thing: have dinner; read a book; etc. I play guitar and just got into archery, so, I'll go play music for a while or head out in the back yard and launch some arrows for an hour or two.

- If the wife is out in the house, greet her with a smile and ask how her day went! if she responds, look her in the eye, pay attention; be interested. If she asks about yours; tell her about it! If not; no big deal. Keep those small chit chat things as positive as possible and be interested as possible. If she gets angry or confrontational; validate and refuse to argue; walk away!

- If she goes off into her own space; let her! when she is somewhere else, you don't have to project the PMA to her and gives your room to breathe and a break from the tension. Go do your own thing! GAL!!!!!!

I know it's all been said before but it's about all you can do. Maybe others can pop in with suggestions!

Good luck and hang in there!


Azagtoth