Still Together & Trying To Work It Out!

[Azagtoth]

Question for the Vets & successful DB'ers out there:

I have both DB & DR (didn't realize they were actually the same with DR being updated. Now, I know that it is always said that DB/DR is for us, the LBS; it is our "play book" and not to be shared with the WAS.

Question is, on the cover of DB, it states "Can be used alone or with your spouse". Is this true, and if so, at what point would an LBS "share" this book with the WAS? Has anyone ever done this before?

Reason I ask is, my WAS knows I have been reading several books on R & M. She has asked before what I am reading and is it any good / am I getting useful information out of them. I haven't actually shared the actual books / titles yet; I have shared some information I have learned from the books and internet. I generally don't reveal the sources (especially sites like this one). I only offer information when she asks; don't want to pressure her into anything.

Here is our current status:
- No threat or indication WAS wants to leave (Semi-WAS)
- Still at home; still sleep together
- Some affection & closeness that she initiates; no regular physical intimacy at this time; random and only when she initiates (I never initiate or apply pressure this way).
- Still very good friends; conversation daily sharing what we did that day; community happenings, home matters / improvements.
- Still have a "date night" weekly / semi-weekly (just me and her; occasionally with friends). Do family things often with D10.
- She does her thing (shopping, etc) whenever she wants (and I encourage her and suggest it 50% of the time) and do my GAL and activities with D10. She still requests me to do some of her activities with her & I invite her along when appropriate.
- Have been in therapy for MC/IC since November. Good Therapist and both of us are comfortable with her. Therapist says there is definite indication and signs she is truly invested in resolving our R problems and a better marriage. Just lots of time and patience on my part; just as said here and in DR.

Unless there is something "under the hood" I am not seeing, the only thing that seems to be missing from our early marriage is "her in-love feelings" (I hate that term by the way). Right now, I am just being "the new me" (for lack of a better term) and enjoying being myself again! A lot more comfortable around each other; at least it seems so.

I don't plan to share anything from DR/DB right now except with therapist in IC. I just would appreciate any feedback and thoughts on my questions.

Thanks.


Azagtoth