Hmmmm....I hate to go against a DB coach, but I kinda disagree. While in the end your goal is to save the marriage at the same time you do have to accept that this is the second time he has walked away from the marriage. At some point we need to be adults and start taking care of ourselves. Does that makes sense?
I think a big step for the WAS is to see that we are going to be alright without them in our lives....the world isn't going to end with out them. I know me ex has more than once expressed that she was surprised how well I took care of things with out her. That she wasn't needed for the kids and I to function and survive.
I would almost suggest a good boundary is that you take care of your house.....and define that your h's time is better spent taking the kids to do things instead of trying to take care of the house and chores.
Accept the here and now as how it is and that the future will be better.
