2x4 coming here....Questions you should be asking yourself. Why did you give her a hug? What was your gain after she has expressed she didn't want it? Why did you not work on a 180 that was noted earlier in the day?
See Recruit....We see all kinds of different scenarios on here....Now your wife is the usual WAS. You on the other hand are not the typical LBS. You are very codependent, suffer from depression, and are addicted, yes addicted, to the need for physical affection. You use physical affection not as an expression of love, but instead to fill an "unwanted" feeling in your soul. That isn't love my man, that is just filling an addiction. Since you made the choice (180 mentioned earlier) to not work on controlling your addiction...You hugged her (not to express affection or empathy, but to fulfill your own problems) which I am sure she saw as pursuing, pressure, unwanted, and otherwise completely horrible.
That is what we call a "backslide".....so get yourself off the floor and wipe the dust off your pants. What did you learn from all of this? And if you tell me all you learned is your wife doesn't want hugs I will hit you with another 2x4....as you should be learning more than that.
Now I don't typically talk about what spouses may be thinking....but here is my break down on your wife. I don't really think your wife is a WAS. What I think is that she is on a big old power trip. She may be a WAS in the sense that she can easily control how you behave (maybe enough to go end the marriage to find a new more challenging toy to control)...but her behavior screams she is controlling and manipulating you and OM. To me it sounds like she is getting off on playing you two against one another....Who can she control to get what she wants done?
Now is that a game you want to continue or do you think it is time to change things a bit. I don't mean leaving, but I do mean getting off the roller coaster, fixing you crud, and stop being manipulated by your own weaknesses to do what she wants.
