I love her... but she doesn't - Desperate

[Barrybran]

I've ordered DB and waiting for it to come eagerly. I also read Sandi2's 37 Rules every day. However I do have one question. One of W's gripes was that I was not around too much (I worked a lot on my computer in my home office), so I did not spend enough time in the family room with her and our D. Is it correct to assume that I should try to spend more time there now? I feel that making myself scarce would be a self-fulfilling prophecy of: "I knew that he wouldn't want to spend time with us..."

I have two living areas in my house and since I don't particularly enjoy my wife's TV shows I used to go to the other room to watch TV or play games. At the time, I didn't know that was a problem. Fast forward to November 2013 my wife drops the bomb and having found this site I go back to the other room to try and help my cause. I had returned from working away from home so my parents were living with us helping out with the kids. Every night I could hear my wife and parents talking and I couldn't understand why she would be so candid with them and cold with me. I wound up moving into the main living area and all of a sudden, my wife started talking to me more.

Don't get me wrong, my wife and I are in a big hole at the moment but my point is that while you are to detach and give your wife time and space, you can detach and give your wife time and space while being in the same room as her. Just being there (but doing your own thing) could prompt her to start conversations with you she couldn't or wouldn't start when you're in another room.