It's Time to Sing a Brand New Song

[Mimi00]

Thanks Melissa, I can't control much in life, but I will w/ having hard wood floors. That would brighten up my entire year. I'm a simple girl lol

K, thanks for the book suggestion, I will look into it.
I don't have any photos of H and I together, but before he left I made a photos album for him (for out wedding we collected photos from our family members and had a table filled w/ old photos framed differently, H I made copies of my families photos, but H took hard copies and never gave them back; so he had a stack of photos in his travel bag that had been in a plastic zip lock baggie for 4 years. Some of the photos were of his father who passed away... so a few days before he moved, I took them while he was outand made an album, mainly for that reason) that contained photos of us and even that week of the official bomb drop, the photos of us didn't make me sad.

I didn't bring any photos of him w/ me, but there are photos of him on my phone, but I never think to look at them.

What does bother me as far as photos go, is when I see people post photos of skiing/in gear etc.. or snowy mountain tops my heart skips a beat b/c my mind immediately thinks it's him([he's blocked so I KNOW it's cant be him but my mind freaks for a momemnt] b/c where he moved to is a resort town for skiing etc...and that's what all his photos he would post looked like in the last few months)....so I think it's pics of his "new life" that bother me far more than old pics.

Even today I looked at a random persons Instagram, just killing time and their first photo was view of the mountains from a hotel window in the city my H lives in now. I was just like, really? really?

Even in my current neighborhood the streets and named after cities where he is and his city is one of the streets names as well (not a popular name at all) .... WHAT ARE THE ODDS?????

I feel like detaching, "moving on" is really my only option for my own mental health and well being. I've seen people who still affected by their D a decade+ later....I can't do that. I want truly want to be free.

Maybe it's a bad thing? But if I can erase him from my memory, I will do so lol

Now that I know I am sticking around in the State I am in I already signed up for an obstacle course for this spring and another 5k to do in the summer.

I can't wait for the warmer weather and I will be living closer to the city which is full of activities so I will be GALing my heart out once this winter weather breaks.