melissa - standing up for me

[melissag]

25, I have been running around all day and no chance to respond, but don't want you to think I am ignoring your posts.

Quickly, I will say that while I don't completely FEEL the way I want to (PM, you are right, I will check back and re read often!), I will not let that affect anything I do with respect to the terms of this D.

My H's mother got her CS order when H's Dad wasn't making much money (or was hiding it), and, despite the fact that he went on to become rather wealthy, she NEVER went back to get a modification, because her own selfish pride stood in the way. My H and his brother wore holey jeans (before they were trendy LOL) and had their hair cut with a bowl on their heads. They had to work on a farm all summer as early as 9 years old. I will never put my kids' needs second to my emotions in that way.

The action I am taking will not be based on any kind of emotion. I am merely coming here to admit that hey, I feel kind of bad about it. But that doesn't mean I won't do it.

I am sure that at some point (especially if H continues with his self-serving BS and hateful emails), I won't feel in the least bit bad, and I know that my emotions of the moment won't last, but whatever agreement we come to will affect me and the kids for a long, long time.