Looks like the previous thread ran to the end of the ability to reply. There was something I wished to comment on by SSMGuy
Quote:
It seems to me that cheating on one's spouse and shutting off one's spouse are about the same level of breaking one's vows. Both are grounds for divorce, and both result in divorce in practice.
Actually, they are not nearly the same, not even close. From my own POV, the effects of cheating are immediately devastating and an act of betrayal that has no real comparison in the sexless marriage. There is an explicit exclusivity that is contained within one's vows. In cheating on one's spouse (as my first wife cheated on me) the exclusivity is lost forever and you cannot undo it. You can go on from that point, learn, heal, and even remain exclusive beyond that point. But all parties know that the exclusive clause in the vows were violated.
That is not true in the sexless marriage. It is still exclusive relationship even without sex in the relationship. That loss of sex (in the absence of cheating) may also be a reason for ending a marriage but it doesn't compare to the immediacy of the effects of cheating.
The Captain
At least if you cheat in a sexless relationship, the main "marriage" may end. That way you can do it the right way. Cheating your spouse out of sex and intimacy, "because you don't have to do it" is very evil and selfish. It's hurtful to someone a sex life and intimacy was important to.
