melissa - standing up for me

[25yearsmlc]

I need some sort of surgery or something to make me not want to be nice to my H.

How about a virtual, thru the computer SMACK up side your head? B/C if that's what you need, HERE!!!

I feel bad for him. It really [censored] that he is going to have to sever a lucrative client relationship.

OMG...Speechless...wth? Who cares?? (BTW, I'm YELLING that.)
Who said he HAD to? Oh, him...

b/c HE is still NOT all fulfilled and everything, even though the big fat depressing marriage is over, HE IS STILL NOT HAPPY ENOUGH???

Gee Melissa, maybe YOU should give up whatever you and the kids deserve, own or should own, so maybe, just maybe, your h can be at peace.... for 3 weeks or so, before he wants some more of whatever he "gave you"...

I tell myself that I shouldn't feel bad - after all, this is his choice.

Keep telling yourself this^^ b/c it's actually TRUE.

And, he doesn't give a crap about screwing over my future, so why should I care about him? (Well, I just do. I guess I can't be like him and not care about the past 17 years we have shared.) AND, I am pretty sure he will do just fine either way - it's not like he is struggling financially.

BINGO^^^^

I still feel kind of bad, though.

I will get over it.

Good, b/c he sure will get over it too. If you "Still feel bad", either see an IC who helps you ignore that or face the fact that you still want him to "like" you. That has to pass. I think he'll respect you more in the long run, (very long run) but I don't think that should factor AT ALL in your decisions. Read "Co Dep No more" again...

And I definitely will not allow that to get in the way of the business side of things.

really? Well, okay then. Remember that you said this^^^ and stick to it. And stay on message.

YOU are doing what YOU believe is fair and FOR the kids. HE does not have the same vision of fairness or what is best for the kids and actually, you both pretty much should agree to that^^. That's why you hired advocate for you, NOT a peacemaker.


Thanks, Wonka, for the suggested response. We have TKD tonight so I will probably wait until after that, even, to respond. I don't need him scowling at me all through TKD. We have testing today too, so I can't be distracted by that.