OneDay, I asked that same question essentially not too long ago - that I have a fear that if I con't to do this, H will think "see, I knew she didn't care, so I'm definitely not going to come back now - she's not even trying to win me over" and it will backfire. I got several responses that were helpful to think about on pages 2-3 of my thread - hopefully this link works!:
You know your W better than I do. What I can tell you from when I was pursuing, chasing, etc. at the beginning was that it made my H VERY upset because he felt like I wasn't "respecting his decision". His words. When I started listening, not trying to fix things or make promises of what I would change, etc., he then said he "felt better" because I was respecting his decision. I think him "feeling better" is moving closer to my goal, not away from it! Being friendly but not a friend was one way I saw it described on it here and that helps put me in the mindset of being positive and nice but not pushing it TOO far.
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
