I write letters all the time, and then rip them up!!! I love it! Lol it really does help, and I've even started doing it for situations that have nothing to do with H. My IC said I gotta stop pushing emotions away.
So, try it!!
My IC also told me to tell my H about the results if his actions, BUT he doesn't want me to do it until I can completely detach from whatever his reaction will be. For me, I'm thinking that will be "drop the rope time". I'm not there, but the point of the exercise for me is that it's a 180 from what I normally do with everybody.
Is that the case with you guys? Not sure otherwise why they would want you to do that, especially if your H is being cold most of the time...??
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5
it really does help, and I've even started doing it for situations that have nothing to do with H. My IC said I gotta stop pushing emotions away.