You have already gotten some good advice. I wanted to add onto that and say that you don't have to follow your H's timeline for the D. Make sure you take your time and do what is best for you and the kids. Getting D, losing your job, your home, etc. is a LOT to do all at once, and you need to make sure you are able to make these kinds of decisions.
I am glad you have a L to help you.
I agree with AS, please stop telling your H about your feelings. This is going to sound mean and I am sorry, but he doesn't care right now, and you are only driving him further away.
As far as the family party goes, I would tell your grandmother, or whoever else you think may say something, that it is important to you to have a good co-parenting R with your H for the sake of your children, and that you would appreciate if she could keep her opinions to herself . . . for the sake of the kids.
I'm also fairly certain that it will only hurt your cause if your family starts telling him off.
Hang in there, this will all turn out OK one way or the other.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
