melissa - standing up for me

[melissag]

Huh. No hateful email.

But I see why he is being nice . . . he wants something.

He wants me to consent to him giving up his partnership interest in his law firm (worth six figures to me in the D). I do believe that he wants to do it for legitimate reasons (i.e., not just to screw me out of $$ in the D). But I don't care. He is the one who made the choice to get D. What's the saying? I think it's:

You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice.

Look, if it meant nothing to me, I wouldn't be trying to stick it to him just to teach him a lesson. But am I going to give up six figures so that he can make this career move that he wants to make?

Why the hell would I?

He actually asked me, "Are you wiling to consent to my resigning as a partner?"

In retrospect, it sure seems that his email of last week (where he jovially agreed to stay on as a partner and sever ties with his consulting client) was a bunch of BS and now I see why he acted like, I'm-your-best-friend-and-I'm-going-to-hug-you that night.

I am reminded of BD, where he told me that yes, indeed, he could make whatever unilateral decision he wanted about our M, no matter how it affected me, our kids, or anyone else. I guess he probably won't like being on the other side of that.

Here's what else he said (the first paragraph was just explaining why he wants to resign as a partner, which I already knew):

I am cautiously encouraged by your change of lawyers. I'm glad that you are interested in a simple and peaceful solution to this problem. My understanding of [Lawyer #1] reputation was that she was an excellent lawyer, but not a peacemaker. I'm still confused, however, because I don't know what your goals are here, because you won't tell me (other than to mediate, which doesn't tell me what it is that we disagree over and need to mediate). Letting me know what your goals are would help me tremendously in trying to craft a solution to this situation.

So. I am not sure how to answer his email. The answer to whether I will consent to him resigning from the partnership is no, no, and HELL NO. That's the reason I filed to begin with - to stop him from doing just that.

Incidentally, FWIW, once we are D, he can do whatever the hell he wants with his partnership interest - after he has given me half the value of it.

And I don't know how to answer what my goals are - my goals are to make sure that I, and our children, are taken care of and that this is done the right way. But that's not what he wants. I think he wants me to actually give him numbers or something. I don't have enough information to do that. I do have enough information to know that all of his proposals were way off from anything I would ever agree to, both in structure and in dollars. (And, as far as the kids go, parenting time.)

I promise, I will not respond yet!!!