melissa - standing up for me

[melissag]

Thanks, guys! I am not sure there is any answer that won't piss off my H, but I think I will probably borrow Wonka's ideas. My C thinks that I will get to a place eventually where I can understand H enough, and be detached enough, that we can have a successful co-parenting R, but I am pretty far from that at the moment. I think I am making some headway in believing and understanding that H has issues that limit him emotionally, and they are nothing I caused, nor can I fix them. I wish that he would do that work on himself, but wishing is a waste of my time.

I saw my new lawyer today and I feel so much better! He answered all of my questions and it sounds like he's got some great experience behind him. He is very level headed and I don't think he will bring a bunch of drama like the old one would.

I'm still not sure why my H is so insistent on not using Ls. It would probably cost more in fees to negotiate and then us each bring it back to our Ls for review, than it will to just all sit down (me, H, two Ls) and work things out.

My H seems to think that we are going to sit down over coffee and bang out an agreement in an hour. Ummm. No. Maybe if we rented an apartment and had no kids or assets.

He definitely lives in a fantasyland, and I know he is going to be mad that I changed attorneys, and that I am going to make him get me all the financial info (and do our 2013 taxes) before I sit down with him . . . because he always gets mad when I knock him off his unicorn.