Final phase of losing wife?

[kenva]

Feeling real down today. Kinda raised my voice to her sat. We talked for 1/2 hour about us and the house. It kinda slipped out with my voice raised that she was off messing around. Didn't say messing tho. She came back saying shes not messing around shes just over it. Last few days have been ok with w. we have had some normal conversations but she still takes off in her room when I'm in family room with s. She leaves tomorrow for five days. She hasn't said where she's going and I have a pretty good idea where and with whom. I meet my attorney Thur to go over settlement agreement also. I have decided to tell that I am not going to refinance the marital home. Doesn't make sense, financially to do so so let her have the burden. I just don't see how a person can just take off and leave their child for five days to have fun especially when a divorce isn't final. I have a hard time when they take off just for the weekend and I don't see him. I also apologized to her for raising my voice telling her I know what has to be done but hard to let something go when it means a lot. Did I screw up?