You are in a tough spot between these two women. You will not be able to please both of them. Just won't happen! A trait first born children have is pleasing their parents. Can you see some problems if the parent-child relationship was not healthy? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your mother, but if she tends to be possessive......then I can see from the eyes of your W.
I married a mamma's boy, and it caused problems in our R until the day my MIL died. My H felt torn between me and his mother. I wanted him to stand up on his own two feet and quit letting her boss our family. But that was my story. I just wondered how many times your W has mentioned your mom in the past. Has it been an issue?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
