You have more power than you know. And I know how exhausting this is for you.
Here is my nickel's worth, take or leave what you will.
You have retained a lawyer to protect your interests and that of your older children. Your H has been reluctant to pony up anything of his own volition. In fact, not so long ago you were concerned how you were going to make your mortgage payments. Do you honestly think that you and your H can work out these details? You are already nervous about his reactions.
Please do not confuse DBing with the business side of things, for your own protection. Giving in to his demands is not validating him. Let the lawyers handle it. Let your boys handle their relationship with their father, they are old enough.
WR, in the end these choices are up to you. You know your life, needs and situation best. Take care of you.
