I need all the help i can get

[Recruit]

To be honest Lost, she is pretty spot on which stings a little.

They are total enablers.

My mum and dad got married following a one night stand which ended up in pregnancy (me), and I always got the brunt of my dads resentment - anger, threats and violence until I was too big and threatened to give him some of his own medicine. For some reason I have alway saught his validation and tried to please him - to no avail.

They stayed together 30 years, my dad a WAH and my mum a downtrodden shadow of what she could have been, until he finally had an affair and they separated.

He is now the happiest man alive, and she for some reason can't understand what went wrong.

So you could say that I haven't had the best relationship role models....

I haven't told my dad about any of this.
My mum has already marked my W as the big bad b*tch and attached all blame for the R and my illness at her feet, despite my very strong protestations.

My wife is correct. They are likely to blame for at least some of my emotional issues, enable (and actively encourage!) me to continue living the same way and can offer no practical help at all apart from a roof should I need one.